First of all, this post is dedicated to all people who already felt been backstabbed by his/her friend(s).
And other name for a Blog is an online Diary and it's my blog. So, I could blog whatever I want.

For some who backstabbed his/her friend(s),
wow, you are so cool. Let me give you an applause. 

I have a question.

What is friend?

What is the definition a friend to you?

 Is it someone who always be by your side? Or someone who always be with you during happy and sad time comes? Or someone who just...there?

Well, for me,
Friend is someone who can make me smile and accompany me who always feeling lonely. Friend to me is like a book which filled with characters that are friends and always together when hard time comes. A team. A team which each person have their own personality. A team that never say bad things to each other. A team that always defend each other.
That's a friend to me.

As a person, of course I befriended with the wrong people. She was one of my best friends.

And of course I'm sad. She called me a 'bitch' and a 'whore' without a specific reason and out loud, online. But you know, I am not mad at all.

And then she involves everybody around us and that makes me feel like choking her. She involve my classmates, our best friends, etc. And that was when I laughed because it was a childish action and bloody stupid.

And I'm still not angry with her. I just felt disappointed.

My mom said that I don't have any emotions. I'm a cold person. My mom was right.

When she backstabbed me, what am I doing was thinking.
'How could she do this to me?'
is the question that kept running through my head.

You know why I feel disappointed and regret?

I regret that I showed her my world; my boybands, my stories, my music, tumblr, fandoms, the things that makes me a happy and less depressed person.

I was happy that I had a friend that like One Direction as much as I do and it was me that made her love One Direction. I asked her to made Wattpad to made her easier to find fanfictions. I was the one that she would called almost every night and telling about her imagines on One Direction and I was the one that gave her ideas for her fanfictions. She was the first one listened to 'Little Things' with me and we cried cause that song was so touching. I was the one who asked her to made tumblr. I was the one who recommended books for her and others to read. I was the one the one who listened to her stories and problems which made her sad. I was the one who gave her good ass advises and she never took it seriously.

I was the one who showed her my world and it was my fault.

I was wrong. I was appreciated too much our friendship and she backstabbed me in returned.
All she want for the first time was attention from people.
And like my friends said, all she wanted was to be like me.

They said,
She tried to hard to achieve something that her motive was to made us jealous at her. They said that she tried to like things that I like for her to be like me and my friends. And it was epic fail. She was the one that jealous of us. We are too cool to realised. I was damn blur haha sorry for not realised it.

I was happy that my friends still by my side. And I can't deny it, it feel very good seeing her to fake a happy and crazy attitude in front of us. I'm not that stupid to see people fake an attitude, woman.

You know,
this world full of girls that have much worst experiences and we should know that life is not mean, we humans make it look mean.

To her,

 I'm really disappointed with you. You cursed me and posted it. You just don't know how hurt I was and you'll never be. We all hurt and stop being so selfish. Accept yourself for people to accept you.
Thanks for being my crazy friend.
Hope you have a nice life without us by your side.

I just wanted to released my tension and this things troubles me, every time.

Words of wisdom by Anthony;


Lastly,
"Friends are supposed to make you feel good about yourself."

Just remember that.

- A girl that cannot be nice to anyone anymore.