So, I didn't come to school today.
My body was in pain and I got flu this morning.
(Typical Amni's condition)
I got a called from Wafiy saying that 5 lambda was having an 'Apologizing Ceremony' and I heard it was an emotional wreck.
Since I didn't come cause I'm not immune (TMR reference) and IF I came, even, there was no way that I can stay-back after school. I have pretty rough time catching/missed my bus for the pass seven years.
And I can't walk home. My doctor wouldn't let me. My ankle isn't fully recovered yet. And it still hurts if I walk too much.
And I have social anxiety.
But, back to the point.
Dear classmates,
Dear Nabilah, Syazni, Hafa, Alyaa, Atikah. Arissa, Amira, Nabihah.
Dear Wafiy, Shazreen, Achamp, Shukri, Armin, Acap, Ainul, Aiman Nordin, Ammar, Hadi, Noor Aiman, Aiman Rafique, Ariffin, Daniel, Asyraf, Fakhrul, Azrul, Afif, Haqim, Faizul, Fareez.
I have a confession to make.
I admit that I'm unsocial. A little bit anti-social. I'm a hot-head. I don't like keep in touch. I pretty much disappeared after school.
Just because, I don't like people that much. Not in sarcastic way, I really don't like people. Because growing up, I didn't have that much of a friend. I never get invited to birthday parties in primary school. People avoid me cause I'm a mixed blood. My so-called friends in primary school, has their on clique cause they were popular.
I grew up, eating alone in recess time, went to classes and tuition class without even tried to talk. I basically the most dumb around my friends.
The thing was, my loneliness dragged until I was Form 2. Then, I have friends. I met my best friends.
But then I entered Form 4.
I got scared. I don't have friends in 4 Lambda. Sure, some of you were my classmates back in primary school. But we were just an acquaintance.
I din't even want to change my class. Where should I go? I didn't want Biology, nor Account.
Then, some guy voted me for assistant-moniter. And I was grateful for that.
To be honest, I never felt so happy and wanted in my life. Sure, for they first time, I felt so overwhelmed because of you guys surrounded me every day.
And every time there was a school holiday or just I was absence. I missed my Lambdarians. And I missed you guys now.
I cannot picture my life without 29 of you. I can't imagined of my two last years of high school without laughing so much, complain so much and do stupid things. I can't imagined my life without you guys beside me.
For a heartless person (me) to say this, it is hard and heavy, but,
I Love you. I love you, classmates.
So much, sometimes it hurt.
I love you, retarted fucks!!
Yes, we not gonna be classmates again. But, life goes on, man.
Go with the flow.
Nabilah, Syazni, Hafa, Alyaa,
Thank you for the awesome conversations. Thank you for all the movies, music recommendations. And thank you for the laughs we had and funny talks we had about hot guys lol.
Atikah,
Thank you for being there for me when I need to cry.
Arissa, Amira, Nabihah,
Thank you for all the talks and advice on guys. And the soccer game we played.
Wafiy, Hadi, Ainul, Asyraf Azman,
Thank you guys for teaching me all the subjects I suck at. You guys are the best mentors that I could ever asked.
Ammar, Aiman Nordin, Armin, Syukri,
Thank you for the weird memories you gave by bullying me and laughed so hard on the back of the class and weird stuff you did at me (Shukri & Armin especially)
Acap.
Acap.
Thanks because of you singing malay songs, I knew about Malay song. Suara kau sebenarnya boleh tahan juga.
Shazreen, Fareez,
Thank you for all the conversations we had and I have soo many picture of Shazreen in my blog omg.
I would sell it and be rich $$
Fakhrul, Daniel,
Thanks for all the debat. And it was always fun to talk about world problems with you guys. I respect you knowledge so much, history nerds! And thank you Fakhrul for teman me balik rumah when I had to walk home walaupun setengah jalan je.
Achamp, Aiman Rafique, Ariffin,
Thank you for making me jealous on your drawings. I am so jealous, like, seriously, how can you draw so good??!!
Noor Aiman, Haqim, Azrul
You guys are one quiet people. But damn, your grades rocks. Sometimes, I'm so jealous.
Afif, Faizul,
I never got the chance to talk to you both. But just, you guys being there, it's already enough.
*Virtual Hugs all 29 of you fucktards*
And I'm sorry of my wrong doings to you all cause I'm emotional too
(when mostly I don't have feelings)
And I hope we all will success in our SPM.
Who knows, maybe when I become a writer,
I will write about a class that was placed on the end of a hallway, that secretly placed 30 students with different backgrounds and personalities but came together as 4&5 Lambda.
If I become a writer, I really do want to write about you guys.
- A LAMBDARIAN
I love you, fucktards (so much)
