Hi readers!

Yes, hi. You haven't seen me since I was second year in college. I know hi!

Right now, I'm nearing my sixth year in my employment era. 

Crazy for someone who has been struggling with her studies and is not smart academically. 

I know.

With that too, I've changed jobs thrice and around 8 bosses due to restructuring and shit, and my god, I've experienced every generation and race and gender AND sexualities if my radar worked.

I dont put my work values above others. I love my hobbies and my time above others. I like to rest. I recently prioritised my health, considering I'm chronically ill, and stress would literally make me sick.

I'm a Gen Z and grew up Zillennial and saw what the PANDEMIC did to people who loved their job, they died for their companies to reopen barely a week.

You would think this could be an eye-opener to so many managers on how and why many normal people prioritize their families and time.

To be said, this doesn't mean I'm not a good worker. In fact, I actually excelled in corporate. My performance review shows that. Even my friend said I have the 'corporate look,' of whatever the fuck that means (I know what it means).

But I am also neurodivergent (undiagnosed and wouldnt want to)

I like sturcute, I like to understand where I go, I need to know flow. But I also understand a fast-paced environment and I've worked as an Editor, so I know changes are frequent. I'm quick to absorb and easy to adapt when necessary.

I've worked with SMEs, MNCs, which I quit this year and went to GLC.

I understand cultural changes. I understand what is expected of me.

Also, the fact that I got promoted into a senior position, that considerably seems too young for people in GLC (meritocracy doesn't exist in this place)

I dont know why, but I feel like my curse in life is my job. Others got complicated love lives, but I got is job.

GLC is such an unserious place.

First time in my career, where my performance went downhill because my boss is mean. Being my job is on the line (I'm BARELY in my sixth month, my you), I just accepted it. And deep down I know I was a threat to this boss, and I just.... I came from an MNC when I was so stressed with the job security (tech layoff) that its me so stressed out that I gained so much weight.

And moving here to be treated like this, with no prep, no help, but my own intiative to understand the job [mind you, my department is new too, with no proper KPI] and to basically get gaslighted by this boss WHEN I'M STILL SICK from my travel for this job because I requested RL [I worked on a Sunday] and it got rejected by the same boss.

Saying I'm too quiet. Saying I dont do enough of my part [which they never trained me and expect me to know this company's flows like that. Mind you, GLC has no BAU as much as MNC] 

Treating Introverts as Public Enemy No. 1 in Corporate is a Psychological Warfare - is my title, and yet MNC is crappy too for this, but hides it well behind meritocracy. But the lack of standardisation in GLC is making me (passively) s*icidal again.

I often ask God, what's the point of making me born into this world where I dont have the necessary important skills and ability to be cold?

The higher I (accidentally) climbed the corporate ladder, the softer I've become and the more bullshit I saw.

I want a steady job that dont make me pull my hair out because of the management, so I can afford to buy a house. I want a quiet life.

So, that's all I guess. I wish I had something positive to say, but it has been harder year by year. It's hurtful when it's attached to your daily life.

But the media I've loved throughout my hiatus these past years is that I finally have an OTP: A Song of Ice and Fire's Jaime and Brienne, which I contributed in ao3.

My favourite character ever is Jaime Lannister.