Weirdo Solo: childhood~

anime

My Childhood Sexual Awakening {Crushes}

Inspired by a Buzzfeed's video;

and myself, as an overly dramatic full of love for fictional characters human being,

I present you

People that awaken my sexuality!~

(sounds a little kinky, but, for God's sake I'm in my legal age now)

I'm the most sexual het-asexual I know to be honest.

Sometimes, I'm like 'Yess!! Hot People!!!' But at the same time I'm like 'No!!! Hot People!!'

I like looking at beautiful people.... aesthetically.

Like, 'heck yes they're hot I would pat them on the head and be friends' but also 'don'T LIKE ME!

I rather be single until I die kinda way.'

Yet, of course,

I cannot deny that there are a lot of people that are on fire and have a really great personality.

So, wanna see my childhood crushes?

LEGGO!

MATT DALLAS in Kyle XY

He is my first celebrity crush. I was nine.

I don't know why, I really tend to find guys really attractive when they have green eyes.

KYLE XY was my shit.

He made me literally considered wanting to skip my tuition classes on Wednesday nights just because I wanted to see his face.

He is so quirky on the show. He was not human, not an alien but a clone. The first episode he is butt naked running around town. He's quiet, all his quotes are amazing, he's a genius and HIS BED IS A BATHTUB.

Look at his cuTE TEDDYBEAR smile aaaAAAAHHHH :3

PRINCE PHILIP from The Sleeping Beauty

Truthfully, I like him more than any other Disney's princes because Sleeping Beauty is my favourite Disney's movie.

Prince Philips is charismatic (I mean, he wooed Aurora while singing with her), he is adventurous, and he cAN SING!!! I started to like him when he fought with the dragon. Like, HE FOUGHT A DRAGON!! Plus, he looks so helpless that his hair flops every where, I was into it okayyy.

GENERAL LI SHANG from Mulan

I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUUUU!

Li Shang is the reason why I tend to fall in love with characters who are not in a royal family. Generals or second in commands.

He's the kind of character that you'll ignore when you were a kid BUT as you get older...

He just grow on you....

It's like;

5 year old me: "MULANNN!!! Screw Li Shang. Annoying shit!!

14 Year old me: Holy shit.... Li Shang is hot??? What??? I'm confused?

Li Shang is very driven, brave, sometimes really awkward but doesn't admit it.

And compared to all the disney's guys, we can ACTUALLY see his personality and his attitude, he actually talk more than any other princes in Disney's princesses movies.

KING DOMINICK from Barbie: Princess and Pauper

Praise the lord, because he's SO beautiful (Why is he not real???)

I was rewatching Barbie movies this evening and I would never skip Princess and The Pauper when I'm marathoning Barbie movies because favourite and you know what it got me?

My heart felt like an arrow hit it...RIGHT IN THE FEELS.

I didn't like Julian because my sister's called dips on him so I chose Dominick.

We were (my sister and I) so obsessed with this version of Barbie we remembered all the lyrics to all the songs, man.

Dominick is not a prince, he's a KING! A KING! Who loves music and Erika (oooooooh my god I ship them before I knew what shipping means). He's little tipsy bit awkward, but, he's honest, if he likes something/someone he never afraid to admit it.

GOD, HIS VOICE. HIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

I was having goose-bumps when I heard he sang at seven and now nineteen, he still gives me goose-bumps.

Bonus: He's man who good dark hair and blue eyes. What does that means?

A.T.T.R.A.C.T.I.V.E

ALFIE ENOCH in Harry Potter

YES FREAKING DEAN THOMAS!!!

100000 points for Gryffindor!

Siruis Black is my favourite character since childhood but I always think that Alfie Enoch was cute and now, he already grew up, he's just

made me complementing my life.

He grow up like a fine wine. I should've watch HTGAWM by now but I have so many shows to watch and I don't want to start a new one u____u

TAKASHI MORINOZUKA from Ouran High School Host Club

The definition of 'Cool, calm, collected, tall, dark and handsome' anime character.

I was so into him and I am still into him now I just- ARGH!

Takashi is talented, smart, mysterious, he's basically my type.

Yeah fine, Honey is cute, Kyoya is charismatic, the twins are fun and adorable and Tamaki is the prince charming but none of them can compared to my Takashi.

We didn't get to know about him in the anime but when you read the manga...

I was so, so in love with him and it stresses me more when I found out that the mangaka wanted Haruhi to ended up with Takashi at first. I was rooting at team Tamaki because he is my second favourite but finding that out ruined me.

BENNY from My Babysitter is a Vampire

Leo Valdez (my smol) reminded me so much of Benny.

Me and my best friend LOVED this show. I called dips on Benny lol. We would watch in and then talked about it the next day at school.

Benny is cute, energetic, fun and he's A WIZARD!!

He also has the best lines on the show.

And more importantly, he has humour.

I was really sad when this show got cancelled.

SYAORAN from Tsubasa Chronicles

Why everytime I need to see him I have to go to tuition class???

This show started on Sunday afternoon, my class ended at afternoon. Ugh.

Syaoran was a fresh start for me. I was very picky on watching anime. I really like anime that have my taste of nice art, and Tsubasa was aired that time. Also, the anime was unique and different at that time.

Again, I ship Syaoran and Sakura SO HARD (I didn't know what shipping meant)

I actually never finish watching this show, I never know if they end up together or not.

I like to keep it that way.

STEFAN SALVATORE from The Vampire Diaries

My last childhood crush until I became a teenager.

I still love him until now actually.

I still watch Vampire Diaries (Even wHEN THEY KILLED KAI PARKER OFF)

Stefan is kind, soft, loving, smol, cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure, he loves so hard and so deep. He has a beautiful name!!!

Vampire Diaries started of soooo good and then the script writing turned to shit (especially after season three) Season 6 was amazing until they killed that guy.

This show threw me off so much because I feel like they start to neglected Stefan's character so much. I still haven't started the latest season yet. Yet, I will eventually watch it because STEFAN.

Protect Stefan Salvatore at all costs. Don't ever let his smile disappears. Protect my son.

That's it.

It still surprise me how I remembered these people. Maybe, I'm kind of a person who loves too deep. I don't know.

What's your childhood crushes? What celeb/fictional characters sparked you sexual awakening.

Do tell me!

Bye~

- Amni

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, by Amni :3

4 LAMBDA

My Life is a Joke. (How to be happy)

“In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.”

― Haruki Murakami

Listen.

I'm a teenager.

High school sucks.

Stress upon stress.

Family problems, Friends problems.

Problems upon problems.

Study just to get good grades.

Depression, anxiety.

Got new friend, lost friend.

Parents fighting, Siblings fighting.

My room is only the place that I love.

My house is not my home.

Facing pretty girls and jerks at school.

Low self-esteem.

Not good enough.

Problems we face as Teenagers.

And sadly, the things I listed are normal.

We all basically face the same thing.

For those who have the same problems as me *pats you on the back*

So instead of babbling about how my life fucking sucks, I'll give you list that will guide you to be happier (or sassier) person.

At least on the outside so people doesn't know you're sad inside.

Okay?

Friendly reminder that are things are all my suggestions.

Can I get a drum roll please *drum rolls*

1. Drink Tea.

FUN FACT: Drinking tea can make your brain 5% more intelligent, tea also releases stress

(especially when you're drinking on a rainy weather and it's cozy too)

Tea also preventing your teeth from cavity which is very important to me cause I got my braces off. Tea also can preventing you from CANCER.

ISN'T THAT GREAT?!

So, drink tea. Its good for you and its also will make you a happier person.

2. Read Books.

Books will make you think differently from other people and books will increase your knowledge on a language that maybe you suck at.

Book will take you everywhere. Books can make you feel emotions that you never feel before.

Books will teach you to fall in love with a character (For me is Leo Valdez)

Riding a dragon, road trips, meeting a boy who only speaks metaphors, falling in love, feeling sympathy for a characters, feeling annoyed with the character, feeling hatred for the character.

ALL THE FEELS.

And better, reading a book will make you escape from reality. And I know, sometimes we wanted that.

She is my spirit animal ^

3. Watch movies/ tv shows/ cartoons

watch anything that will make you happy (unless its porn, so don't watch porn)

Watch a story that the main character can relate to you. So you know if they can face their problems, you can face yours too. You just have to be strong.

Like, this tv show

MY MAD FAT DIARY;

This movies

The Breakfast Club;

Some Kind of Wonderful;

^ Favourite 80's movies

4. Music.

Everybody loves music. But, good music is hard to find.

Make mixed tapes for someone you love, sing your heart out in the shower. Find good music. Being friends with people who have the same music taste as you. Listen to the radio. Listen to One Direction, to KPOP to any foreign language songs. Learn other countries languages by music. Do anything and everything.

And lastly, the most importantly,

5. Stop give a fuck about stuff, care less.

If you care too much, you will be hurt. I learned to grow thick skin so no one will make me sad and the problem is, no one will make me happy either.

But I rather be like this than care about people who doesn't care about me.

I know I'm such a heartless bitch but I'm still human and I have feelings too. Maybe I don't show my emotions because I don't like people seeing me sad and I don't want people to know that I'm sad.

And that's the reason why I am who I am today.

I think, the reason why I'm so into books, tv shows, bands and movies because I rather be like that than admit that deep inside I'm a lonely, sad, fucked up human being who have more issues than Vogue.

So, that were my suggestions on how to be happy.

I hope it my suggestions is useful to my teenage friends who have the same issues as me.

The only advice that I can give you is this,

Stop believing that your sadness is beautiful and somebody will fix you and all this romantic books stuff, nobody will find you in a bookstore reading Jane Austen and want to lie with you and nobody will kiss your scars and you will not be like romeo and juliet.

You have got to be your own savior. There's no knight and shining armor will come to save you. That's bullshit. You have to be your own fucking hero and surround yourself with positivity.

- Amni.