Weirdo Solo: BTHO

5 LAMBDA

SPM Result

I got my SPM result today.

I'm actually really satisfied about it.

Okay, I know it is a result that shouldn't been brag about BUT I'M BRAGGING ABOUT IT.

I think that I DESERVED to get that result.

Clearly, not because I got an excellent result.

I know my limit. I'm not smart. When it comes to maths, I sucks so BAD.

But, looking back at last year, I was pathetically really depressed. I had social issues. I couldn't sleep well, or eat well and I couldn't study well.

Looking back at my trial result, let me just say, my trial result I got no A's. I failed at three of my elective subjects. My History and BM score flaunted. My Math was worst. I didn't get and A for my English.

And it got me feeling depressed even more.

I studied for BM so hard, because I really wanted to ace my mother tongue. I studied Math, especially in paper 2. I studied History like crazy. I studied English more that any subjects. I studied Physics because I could at least pass this subject.

I'm a very anxious person. I really want my English and History to get A's. The two subjects are favourite subjects.

My best friend and I just hoped at least, we will get 2A's for SPM.

And,

Alhamdulillah, we got better than that.

I know some of you guys are sad with your result and keep questioning why I'm not, because, logically, thinking back, I was in the lowest. ranking grades score in my class. I was not good at Maths nor Chemistry or even Engineering.

And I know that. I tried really hard for my English, when trial came and I got B for it, I really felt like crying and since then I studied really hard because English is my passion. I love languages, English is my favourite. History too, god, I love history. That subject was never boring to me.

And Maths, I hoped I pass in average scale, And I did.

The thing is, your result doesn't define who you are. Maybe you result is bad, but look at the bright side, Allah have better plans for you. Maybe not now, but in the future.

You'll never know God's plans.

Go have tea, okay?

- Amni

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, by Amni :3

4 LAMBDA

Sebenarnya aku rindu... {LAMBDA}

It's almost 5:AM of 8 February of 2015.

I have insomnia. I couldn't sleep *le cries*

So bare with me.

Cause my Malay sucks.

And this post contain lots of excessive Malay swear words.

Sebenarya Aku Rindu

A.SUHANA

Aku rindu classmates aku.

Budak-budak Lambda (13-14)

Aku rindu Nabilah, Hafa, Alyaa, Syazni.

Aku rindu borak pasal indie bands and hot guys dengan Nabilah.

Aku rindu nak tahu movies best-best dari Syazni.

Aku rindu nak borak pasal Korea dengan Alyaa.

Aku rindu anime recommendations dari Hafa.

Aku rindu nak tahu pasal sejarah and politik dengan Fakhrul and Danial.

Aku rindu berdebat dengan Asyraf, walaupun sometimes dia buat aku nak nangis dengan mulutnya.

Aku rindu dengan nyanyian narcissus Shazreen.

Aku rindu Achamp yang selalu tak datang sekolah, macam biskut.

Aku rindu pandangan pelik Shukri bagi kat aku.

Aku rindu Armin yang selalu kacau aku.

Aku rindu bunyi bising dan lawak bodoh yang Ammar and Aiman buat.

Aku rindu bunyi meja diketuk buat lagu Indon yang aku tak pernah tahu dari Asyraf and Ainul.

Aku rindu nak borak dengan Wafiy.

Aku rindu Hadi, yang selalu marah aku time study math.

Aku rindu Aiman, ketua kelas paling diam pernah aku jumpa.

Aku rindu si awkward Ariffin.

Aku rindu macam mana dengan bangganya Aiman cakap pasal lukisan,

Aku rindu macam mana aku kenal Azrul dari tahun 6 tapi tak fully kenal dia pun.

Aku rindu Haqim yang selalu kena perli sebab dia Singaporean.

Aku rindu Afif yang aku tak pernah cakap dengan dia lebih dari 5 minit.

Aku rindu (kesian sebenarnya) kat Faizzul yang selalu kena buli.

Aku rindu si ketua pelajar, Fareez, yang bajet tough,

Aku rindu gelak kuat Arissa dan kesopanan Amira.

Aku rindu Nabihah, yang selalu cantik.

Aku rindu Atikah, yang selalu ada dengan aku kalau aku ada masalah.

Sebenarnya aku rindu.

Dan Kelas 5 Lambda, yang terletak di hujung dunia, sudah menjadi kenangan bagi aku.

kenangan terindah (actually kenangan paling gila)

Aku tak pernah terfikir yang aku akan duduk kat kelas yang paling aku hargai time form 3.

Tapi aku dapat kelas macam tu time aku form 4, aku actually lega and happy.

Walaupun aku tak post gambar budak Lambda kat insta,

(Gambar korang semua dah hilang kt iPod T_T)

Aku tetap teringat kat korang setiap hari dalam hidup aku yang menunggu result SPM ni...

"I don't like people generally, but I like people individually."

Lambda... is...better than words.

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, by Amni :3

4 LAMBDA

Lambda

So, I didn't come to school today.

My body was in pain and I got flu this morning.

(Typical Amni's condition)

I got a called from Wafiy saying that 5 lambda was having an 'Apologizing Ceremony' and I heard it was an emotional wreck.

Since I didn't come cause I'm not immune (TMR reference) and IF I came, even, there was no way that I can stay-back after school. I have pretty rough time catching/missed my bus for the pass seven years.

And I can't walk home. My doctor wouldn't let me. My ankle isn't fully recovered yet. And it still hurts if I walk too much.

And I have social anxiety.

But, back to the point.

Dear classmates,

Dear Nabilah, Syazni, Hafa, Alyaa, Atikah. Arissa, Amira, Nabihah.

Dear Wafiy, Shazreen, Achamp, Shukri, Armin, Acap, Ainul, Aiman Nordin, Ammar, Hadi, Noor Aiman, Aiman Rafique, Ariffin, Daniel, Asyraf, Fakhrul, Azrul, Afif, Haqim, Faizul, Fareez.

I have a confession to make.

I admit that I'm unsocial. A little bit anti-social. I'm a hot-head. I don't like keep in touch. I pretty much disappeared after school.

Just because, I don't like people that much. Not in sarcastic way, I really don't like people. Because growing up, I didn't have that much of a friend. I never get invited to birthday parties in primary school. People avoid me cause I'm a mixed blood. My so-called friends in primary school, has their on clique cause they were popular.

I grew up, eating alone in recess time, went to classes and tuition class without even tried to talk. I basically the most dumb around my friends.

The thing was, my loneliness dragged until I was Form 2. Then, I have friends. I met my best friends.

But then I entered Form 4.

I got scared. I don't have friends in 4 Lambda. Sure, some of you were my classmates back in primary school. But we were just an acquaintance.

I din't even want to change my class. Where should I go? I didn't want Biology, nor Account.

Then, some guy voted me for assistant-moniter. And I was grateful for that.

To be honest, I never felt so happy and wanted in my life. Sure, for they first time, I felt so overwhelmed because of you guys surrounded me every day.

And every time there was a school holiday or just I was absence. I missed my Lambdarians. And I missed you guys now.

I cannot picture my life without 29 of you. I can't imagined of my two last years of high school without laughing so much, complain so much and do stupid things. I can't imagined my life without you guys beside me.

For a heartless person (me) to say this, it is hard and heavy, but,

I Love you. I love you, classmates.

So much, sometimes it hurt.

I love you, retarted fucks!!

Yes, we not gonna be classmates again. But, life goes on, man.

Go with the flow.

Nabilah, Syazni, Hafa, Alyaa,

Thank you for the awesome conversations. Thank you for all the movies, music recommendations. And thank you for the laughs we had and funny talks we had about hot guys lol.

Atikah,

Thank you for being there for me when I need to cry.

Arissa, Amira, Nabihah,

Thank you for all the talks and advice on guys. And the soccer game we played.

Wafiy, Hadi, Ainul, Asyraf Azman,

Thank you guys for teaching me all the subjects I suck at. You guys are the best mentors that I could ever asked.

Ammar, Aiman Nordin, Armin, Syukri,

Thank you for the weird memories you gave by bullying me and laughed so hard on the back of the class and weird stuff you did at me (Shukri & Armin especially)

Acap.

Thanks because of you singing malay songs, I knew about Malay song. Suara kau sebenarnya boleh tahan juga.

Shazreen, Fareez,

Thank you for all the conversations we had and I have soo many picture of Shazreen in my blog omg.

I would sell it and be rich $$

Fakhrul, Daniel,

Thanks for all the debat. And it was always fun to talk about world problems with you guys. I respect you knowledge so much, history nerds! And thank you Fakhrul for teman me balik rumah when I had to walk home walaupun setengah jalan je.

Achamp, Aiman Rafique, Ariffin,

Thank you for making me jealous on your drawings. I am so jealous, like, seriously, how can you draw so good??!!

Noor Aiman, Haqim, Azrul

You guys are one quiet people. But damn, your grades rocks. Sometimes, I'm so jealous.

Afif, Faizul,

I never got the chance to talk to you both. But just, you guys being there, it's already enough.

*Virtual Hugs all 29 of you fucktards*

And I'm sorry of my wrong doings to you all cause I'm emotional too

(when mostly I don't have feelings)

And I hope we all will success in our SPM.

Who knows, maybe when I become a writer,

I will write about a class that was placed on the end of a hallway, that secretly placed 30 students with different backgrounds and personalities but came together as 4&5 Lambda.

If I become a writer, I really do want to write about you guys.

- A LAMBDARIAN

I love you, fucktards (so much)

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, by Amni :3

4 LAMBDA

GRADUATION DAY

Realising I'm about to finish high school (aka the worst place ever)

I should profoundly post pictures of people because even though I hate high school and the pupils suck in general, I still love the people that I called my friends.

6.30 in the morning faces.

Us being fucktards.

The wheel on the bus go round and round~~

That faces though...

They took selfies so well...

The girls of 5 Lambda (there was no Atikah..)

Pretty people I called classmates.

^ That picture looked like we graduated from Uni but not...

Oh well,

We GRADUATED!!

Awkward selfies of bunch.

The 'A' team.

Hope Aiman will get well soon. I heard that he's sick.

Armin is really got at photobomb.

Syazni. The fab queen.

It's tough okay to be only 9 girls in 21 boys class. We basically warriors.

Kawan 2 Kretif. Kawan gaduh. Kawan kutuk. Kawan bahan. Kawan duduk sebelah time exam. Kawan duduk sebelah walaupun bukan time exam. Kawan paling awkward. Kawan geng muka macam cina. Kawan since Form 2. Okay, Muka aku buruk di sini okay.

Alolo dua orang ni~~~

Waiting for sister to pick up be like~~

We accepted the fact that we have the sacrificed the majority of our teenage years in the place where we don't belong. But we think you're crazy to label us as the person we are not. You see us they way you want to see us. In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But we found out that each of us are The Brains, The Athletes, The Basket Cases, The Geeks, The Introverts, The Princess and Criminals.

Does it answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

A girl who tried to make The Breakfast Club reference.