I expected to read about 20 books in the year 2019 due to the fact I had my undergraduate thesis to do, and an work to go.

Boy, I was wrong.

 The year 2019 has driven me to stress and depression so many times that I barely can look at my laptop anymore and not feel disgusted at that piece of technology (writing this using the same laptop, I'm okay now, a little bit).

I can consider this year that I came out of my YA shelf and started to read more adults and romance. Initially, I wanted to do the top 20 but I think I should be critical on this because I rarely gave less than four stars to the books I read unless I hate them and this is a rare occasion also.

I cut down to 16 books.

Let's!

(In chronological order in which I read first until I have my top three!! Click the pic to go to Goodreads.)

The Poppy War by R. F. Kuang

This is not my first high fantasy that revolves around Asian main characters. But this is the first high fantasy that revolved around Asian main characters that the book is labeled as 'adults'.

I got into this expected to like it. With all the awards and recognition this book got, this is not hard for me to like it.

The only issue I had with this book is that I don't feel connected with any of the characters like I wanted to because I'm a huge believer that connections deliver more feels but all of the characters, I just don't find any of them that I relate with.

What I do like the most reading this book is that history that based on the real event mushed up with the world of lore and beliefs. And I love how this book talks about religion because not a lot of writers would talk or let their characters question the world.

Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Beauty and The Beast retellings are one of the comfort retellings that I would just grab and read anytime if I'm just lost or bored. Some of them are good, some of them are meh. This one is good.

It's good because it's different. It takes this old fairytale and remodeled it and make its own. The most solid thing that I enjoyed in this book is that the characters' relationship. It built with enough amount of time to give trust and respect and it was not rush. And the world-building is great, which I did not expect from a retelling, and it is promising to be full of magical threads.

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

THIS IS MY BOY!!! The story of me literally preorder this book and got it three months later.... this is why I hate buying shit online.

This book is not as ~exciting~ or ~heartwrenching~ as its predecessors are but this is why I like it.

This is about what happens after years of war, about consequences of war, about a country that was so powerful fell down and have to build it back itself again. This is about a monarch who wants to build back its country's glory without any violence that the country once built on, and replace with so much empathy and understanding of what its country needs to get up again.

The main characters did it for me. I found Nikolai to be one of the lovable and fascinating characters Bardugo ever has written and I've loved him since. I also expected Nikolai's chapters to be my favorite but I'm more into Zoya's chapters. Shes's once a secretive and complicated character and we didn't get enough of her in the Grisha Trilogy but now we have and I love her.

 A Storm Of Swords AND A Feast For Crows 

by George R. R. Martin

 

Ummmm, this is the third and fourth book respectively. I read this series out of SPITE because of the atrocious ending of the tv show. The show actually broke my heart and made me depressed.

Jaime Lannister is my favorite character and I was rooting for his redemption/character development quite hard and I just really like the idea of him leaving this toxic of a love that he believes is good, to someone who truly respects and grow to love him as a character, that just hurt.

And you know what fucking happened. So I read the books.

I was not surprised that I love A Storm of Swords. It was the most exciting and full of plot twists amongst all the books. It was fun and exciting but A Feast for Crows is my favorite because of the character studies happening throughout the book. AFFC's main characters are not fan-favorites characters (except Jaime, but he's not as popular as much as Tyrion, Dany or Jon), and this book mainly their character studies.

Am I glad knowing the real story and getting into the books? Ye. Am I frustrated because I'm officially in the 'George R. R Martin, where are the other books?!' club? 
Absolutely yes.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margeret Rogerson

I went into this book feeling iffy because I don't' like the author's debut novel and I DNFed it. I went into this story with low expectations and honestly, I'm glad about it.

This book reminds me so much of Howl's Moving Castle because of the magical wizard, a demon companion and the main character that got accused of treason.

The best thing about the book is the relationship between the three main characters. It was adventurous, magical and a lot of fun. ((Silas is my favorite boy I LOVE HIM))

I had a lot of fun reading this book and it was my first YA after months not reading the genre. I laughed and cried several times and it is just so WHOLESOME.

And the best thing about this book is that it' a standalone.

Radiance by Grace Draven

This one has been in my TBR for years and I finally read it and I loveeeeeeee.

It was such a simple book with rich cultural backgrounds for the main characters. This book has ALL my favorite tropes in fantasy romance and I love it so much and it was very well written.

I love both of the main characters and their resignation in accepting each other's hands in marriage to stop the war between their countries. I love both of them formed of truce to be friends from the beginning and what a miracle to read y'oullsssssss.

 I love how both of them willingly learning their partner's culture and both without a sigh, trying to make their people have better lives. This both hit the very soft spot in my heart and I could see myself rereading it over the years.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

I've been wanting to read AtTwN since middle school to the point that I halted myself from watching the adaptations. I finally found it in a used bookstore sale in my uni.

Gawd, I'm so enamored with it. I basically ate this book up in two days.

The characters are smart, and not stressful to read, the phasing is quick and the plot is sometimes terrifying but always engaging. And I suspected the right person but my dumbass dismissed them ughhhh.

The tv show is boring though lmao.

Sparrow by L. J. Shen

The first dark romance that didn't make me want to punch myself in the face due to stupidity (ACADEMY AWARDS!!!)

This book is not as dark as I expected but it's dark enough. The plot twist did surprise me and made my reading experience better. (((I literally cannot remember anything from this book unless I know that I really like it haha bye)))

Serpent and Dove by Shelby Mahurin



This book is so sexy. I cannot use another word but this.

I'm not a fan of witch books in general (most of the time, I just not going to pick them up to read) yet this one called to me and when I saw it in a bookstore, I pick it up.

It has this nostalgic feeling of reading books from the early 2010s. And both of the main characters are so endearing and adorable (and my god, very hot too) you couldn't help but ship them.

Listen, the softboi agenda is working.





Trials of Apollo: The Tyrant's Tomb by Rick Riordan

 Like many readers, I felt so betrayed and hurt from that particular scene in the previous book that I really don't know what to expect for The Tyrant's Tomb.

But this is probably my favorite book in this series after the first one to date. What I like the most is the aspect of learning new things, which I always sought after reading Rick Riordan's books and this book gave me something I never knew and it did make me excited reading them.

And Reyna in this book? and Hazel? Fuck yeah!!!!!

There are so many female characters in this one and have important roles and I dig it.

#DisneyAdaptPercyJackson !!!!!!!!!

Ghost by A. Zavarelli

This is not a kind of book, nor even dark romance I expected to pick up. It has trigger warnings that I personally feel disgusted and nauseating to read. It took months to start back again and I was rewarded.

The main characters DID so much to me in terms making me like this book. Both of them faced so much hardship and goddaAMN, them both learn each other's weakness and try to understand each other's coping mechanism and the way the characters explain to the reason why they did what they do because some of their actions are not 'common'- great aspect in what I love the most about this book.

This is actually proven that the author did research regarding Bratva's power structure and traumas and it just so nice knowing that and reading it.

The Toll by Neal Shusterman

The Arc of Scythe Trilogy is officially one of my favorite trilogies of all time (and I only have two including this: the other one is Red Rising)

What an ENDING. What a reasonable ending and a definitive one.

I cannot say much but the last line made cried and I spent 10 minutes staring at the ceiling.

~TOP 3~

It is harder to say what you like in books when you love that book. These three books shaped me this year despite my thesis and work and many things that were thrown at my face, these books helped me through the most.

Annie's Song by Catherin Anderson

This book was published in the '90s and it's a historical romance, so there would be a lot of flaws there. And this is also the type of books I don't usually read (Heck, I don't even read romance until this year).

A lot of readers could agree with me that we read because we want to learn something new; from the past, present and even the future.

I haven't had a favorite character that sticks with me for years but the main character;  Alex Montgomery truly has my heart (and also ASoIaF's Jaime and Brienne). He's one of the few male characters in Romance that I read that is genuinely a good person and responsible. He's patient, considerate and compassionate too and very hardworking man. 

(Inilah lelaki kita mahu!!!!)

Out of that, I love how the slowwwwwburnnnnnn the relationship is and how both Alex and Annie grow to care for each other and how patiently Alex trying to learn Annie's disability.

Alex Montgomery won the best male character (in and out of historical romance) AWARDS!!

Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Steifvater

Aside from officially being an ASoIaF reader, this is the longest time I had waited for a book to come out. Still, The Raven Cycle is a part of my teenhood and I’m wholly attached to them, so I was scared to start this.

I didn’t know my love for Ronan Lynch would multiple as I read CDtH. It was nostalgic to read his POVs again after so long. It was nice to read his views on things and his impulsive but gallant ways of handling trouble coming to him and his actions towards the people he loves.

Maggie's writing is whimsical as always. She has always been good at writing characters with interesting, contrasting personalities, each so beautiful and tragic in their own ways.

CDtH gave me the same feeling as I was reading TRC for the first time. It made me laugh, cry, smile, warm, gave me hope, gave me love. 

Tamquam alter idem.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Ried

I've wanted to read this book since before it came out but I couldn't find this book anywhere until this year and MY GOD this is my favorite book of the year PERIODT!!!

What I like the most is the writing. I was sucked into the story immediately when I read the first chapter. It was so easy to read and there’s a difference between Monique and Evelyn’s voice. I LOVE how both of the women are so different in the way they pursue their passion and how they tackled their problems.

Evenly Hugo is that character that people called 'nuance'. She’s grey at best; driven, angry, romantic, passionate and just a great character. She has needs and goals that she cannot let anyone block her way, even the ones she loves. Her POVs made me angry, sad, happy and made me love her. You just CANNOT but to hate, respect and love her at the same time.

I guess that's it. 

I don't what to expect how many books I will read next year but I think I can continue reading more I want to.

- Amni

I got this story idea at 3AM when I lived in an apartment near my uni.

it was March 2016. And I never looked back.

I don't read that much 'romance' books, I just personally prefer adventure and fantasy genre.
I just find romance books are overwhelming corny and with so much sex inuendos that I just like; "Plot... Characters that grow without anyone saving them... I'm BEGGING..."

However, lately, I encountered a lot of romance books that didn't make me want to dig a hole and bury myself out of secondhand embarrassment. (I found this as a sign as that I'm now officially an adult reader). Still, however so, if you put romance book besides an adventure one, I choose the later without a second thought.

So, why the hell I decided to write His Spring Symphony and spent three years of my life finishing it?

I have this thing when I started something, I want to finish it.

Also, I really love my OCs and I want them to be happy.

And this year, I finally finished His Spring Symphony. After three years.


I had no timeline nor plot points when I started this. I only knew the premise and the ending since the beginning. The scenes I found important came gradually and sometimes from dreaming them.

I didn't know how to write romance when I first started this. But I know character growth, I know pain and disappointment, I know love.

I care about this story that I couldn't stop writing every single point I wanted. I wanted Haru and Hunter get the best from my writing as much as I could.

I don't know if I'm a good writer or not. But, His Spring Symphony, I know in my heart, is my best work (so far).

And I have to say goodbye and continue to write.
Because that's what writers do.

We continue to write.

It is the time of the year to talk about my favourite book that I read this year whOSHHHH

2018 has been a GREAT reading year for me. [I mean, REALLY GREAT]

The last time I read this avidly was back in 2013.

I initially set to read only 20 books for 2018.
But by the time I reached 20, I amended to 30 books.

I read in a total of 35 books this year [exclude school readings]

Honourable Mentions

The re-reads:

VICIOUS

Cruel Beauty

 House of Hades

The Wraith and The Dawn
Anna Dressed in Blood
Eleanor & Park

That not make it on the list but I love you still:

Reaper at The Gates

War Strom
Female of the Species
One of Us is Lying


THESE ARE MY TOP 10 BOOKS OF 2018!!!!!!
[Click the book picture for Goodreads link]




I'm gonna start with this one romance book;


Josh and Hazels' Guide to Not Dating



I love watching romcom and kdramas. But I love watching them. Reading has always been private to me; me and imaginations. Most of the time romance [contemporary romance especially] gave me so much secondhand embarrassments that I can't finish it and would eventually not reading them.

Most of the romance books I encountered are prone to night one-night stand plots, quick attractions and stuff. And I, as an asexual, don't get that and would never to. I don't get plots like that. That is why I tend to avoid romance books altogether.

This book, in particular, came from many many romance book recommendations by Booktubers that I trust.

This book is endearing.
It's about college acquaintances, turned to friends when they met again, who understand each other and turned to love. Slow burn at its finest.

Josh and Hazel's relationship are matured [sometimes stupid], they respect and understand each other. They're both different in personalities and lifestyle, but they click.

I swear, my personality is so close to Josh its funny.
I didn't want to bury myself in the sand while reading it out of second-hand embarrassment and it says a lot.

Lee Jun Hyuk IS Josh Im thank you for coming to my TedTalk.





Wintersong




Goblin King. Ancient Curse. And a lot of music.

Really, I wanted to read this because I still missed the kdrama Goblin and like... Bowie's Jareth. Might as well I picked it up when I found in Borders.

I didn't expect much going into it because I just wanted to read about a woman who breaks an ancient curse and feels. I just wanted to read a familiar story about a cursed Goblin King.

At the end of it, I got a huge amount of music knowledge (The girl's family are musicians and they lived in the 17th century? Germany and the second book sets in France),  emotional baggage, SLOW BURN romance.

I actually cried reading this because it was so in depth. In my head, I kept imagining a small village that has a constant fog and beautiful woods.

If you love the folklore of Goblin King, you will love this. Because I found it entertaining and quite accurate; on the peaches; siblings get missing and music associating to the folklore while reading it.

Also, there is poetry about the Goblin King that EXISTS written in the 18th century:
Erlkönig





The Wicker King



This is the last book I read in 2018. The 35th.

It broke me, it made me think, it made me feel, It made me reminiscent my teenhood in a way that it is psychologically eye-opening.

I knew of this book because somebody tweeted that this is the book he/she still thinking about it after months of finishing it.

It happened to me too. There is a book you love and enjoy and there is a book that when at night you can't sleep, your mind would think about it; The Wicker King is that book to me.

About two friends, August and Jack as Jack started to hallucinate things and is so scared because a king in his hallucinations is after him. August, as his friend, decided to believe him and follow Jack on a quest to defeat that said king.

This is magical realism and psychological. Its super fascinating. Most of the chapters end in one page and the books have arts, pictures and playlists. It just sucks you in, hovering August and Jack as their facing their problems.

I would definitely read it again.
Also, don't miss the Author's Note at the end, it will make you cry.




Receiver of Many



Blessed me for searching 'Hades and Persephone retellings' out of the blue in the middle of the night.

I feel like you need to know about Greek Myth and its Patheon-They are assholes, rapey and sexually active and frustrating- to understand that this mere fiction and the author reflects the exact characterization of the characters.

I like the Hades/Underworld; we always saw the place as dark and evil and basically hell. But people forget that Hades is the richest Greek God because Underworld has gold and gemstones, and this book reflects Underworld looks like; full of gems and gold and crystals.

 I like both Hades and Persephone too. This book is a traditional retelling of the myth. So Zeus and Apolo are the iconic assholes. Hades is not that brooding and there're full of stories how he develops from being upset to take care of the Underworld to fully accepted his duty as king. 

But, no one, NO ONE mentions this book is erotica and I READ IT DURING RAMADAN HOLY CRAP.
Don't read this during Ramadan.

Make sure you're 18+ because there are a lot of explicit scenes.

Enjoyable book. I like how the author 'consented' the whole story because Greek Myths are messed up dude.

Also, sTOP villainise Hades!






The Cruel Prince



I read this because of the societal pressure of people kept talking about it and seeing this in bookstores everywhere that led me to decide to read it as a form of an ebook.

Holly Black's writing is not for me usually. However, The Cruel Prince WORKS.
I'm still surprised by how much I enjoy it honestly.

The world of urban fantasy London is lush. The politics of the fea world is intricate and intriguing. All the characters are GREY.  I love my child, Jude, so much and I hope she succeeds in her plan. Jude's adoptive dad is SO interesting.

I expect Cardan [The prince] to have a redemption arc cause I don't like him. There is a difference between an asshole character and an asshole character that bullies people. Cardan is not cruel, he's just a bully and I want to slap him. He pissed me off a lot and I really do want to like him. I just need a reason to.

I'm so excited for the second book!!!





Restore Me



Terrified.
I was terrified to start this book because it has been three years since Ignite Me. I was mostly scared of not enjoying it as much as I used to because of growing up.

Hey, but I love it. Tehereh Mafi is truly a great writer.
The plot truly thickens.
Warner Anderson is still my favourite boy.

Cannot talk more cause this is the fourth book~





Thunderhead



The first book was magnificent at best. I agreed why they got shortlisted for a Pulitzer.
The Arc of Scythe Trilogy are books that NEEDED to be books that get discussed in literature classes. They have so many arguments, opinions, and discussions could surface while reading both Scythe and Thunderhead.

The only issue I had after finishing Scythe is that I was not attached to any character to be invested. But however, it is still a good book so I decided to read Thunderhead and wow, I was so into it.

I'm surprised that how much I like the cloud/computer system of the story [Thunderhead] more than I could let an AI get into my head to brainwashed me.

I'm SO SO SO SO excited for the last book. 
Such a great Sci-fi book on the Utopia society and us humans would ruin anything because we are the species who crave power and are greedy.

Now, thinking of it, the books are creepy haha.





Stolen Songbird



Trolls. A Cursed Kingdom. 
And only a human girl and the Troll Prince could save them.

I mean like in a literal sense.
The girl, Cecile was captured by a human bounty hunter and he took her to this hidden, underground troll kingdom to save the Trolls because she matches the descriptions of the prophecy.

And ohhhh, its good.
It's SUCH A FUN, AND QUICK READ.

I found this trilogy purely from coincidence. Goodreads like; 
'Hey, Amni! You like fantasy and retellings and curses stories that bound two people and they have to work together to achieve their goals right?
This is the book for you!'

I spent four whole nights staying up and read them. My sleeping schedule is screwed now.

It's somehow a story of love and more also the story of politics. It's about a young Troll Prince who's trying to save his people from a curse that bestowed upon his kingdom and the discrimination or pure trolls and half-trolls conflict. It's about a young politician who's trying to be fair in the midst of an old curse and people who are so used of their statuses and privileges.

It's SO ADDICTING. THE VILLAINS especially the first we encountered are so complex. AND every character faced the consequences of their actions!!!!

Cecile and the Troll Prince's relationship are not based on attraction; they grow to respect each other and understand each other from where they came from; Cecile from above and Prince from below. Their relationship is based on respect and slowly becomes trust and love, it's so good.

It's honestly a great trilogy to binged in the middle of the night and cried at 5AM [I did it.]





Darker Shade of Magic



A . D . S . O . M 

This year has been me reading V.E. Schwab's books honestly.

Seriously, Vicious still owns my heart but ADSOM surprised me.

The more I love the book, the harder it became to write about how much I love the book.

ADSOM is a pretty simple story: There are 4 different Londons and only an Antari, in this case, Kell, can travel to every one of them by a token. 

Kell is a messenger for the kingdom of Arnes, Red London, and one day an artifact came into his hands; an object from Black London aka the ONLY London no Antari would visit. He has to go to Black London to get rid of this object, but powerful people are trying to kill him, and he also needs to find out why.

The book is so exciting, quick, my head vividly imagined all the scenes and what a great fantasy book to start if you're new to reading.

I genuinely so in love with this trilogy like; I CANT fathom words ahhhhhhh.
EVERY main character in this trilogy are my children; Kell, Lila, Rhy, Alucard, Holland are my kids I WOULD FIGHT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO HARM-

Okay, okay, great trilogy.
I'm both so scared and excited for the movie adaptation.
Don't know when it would come out though.




Vengeful



I'm forever gonna claiming this: 
Victor Vale is Vicious's fandom official Foster Father.

I waited for TWO months to read this because no local bookstores have it. It was like getting a million dollars when I finally got it.

One of the rare books that EVERY character are villains.
Every character are complex [ESPECIALLY our OG arch nemesis; Victor and Eli]

I cannot say much but Vicious is forever my favourite book of all times. And I wish V.E. Schwab would write the third book because I need more Victor and his group of foster family.

And him being canon asexual is a big thing for me because I finally have a character that is similar to me. However, the best thing is that the plot doesn't focus on it and are about revenge and being evil.

I really want these books to be a tv show so badddddd.
Long live Victor Vale [and his coat]!






I guess that's it.

I don't think I could read this much in 2019 since it's my final year in uni.
However so, the more stress I am the more I read.

A reminder;

Becoming a reader is a process.
Different people have different taste and a different pace of reading.

Be proud if you read 100 books.
Be proud if you only read one.
Everyone has a book waiting for them, you just gonna have to find it.
It will come to you eventually.


Also, can books be cheaper?



- Amni