"Where have you been for the past four months?"

Guys, it called college.

(I like use the term College more than University (college sounds more chill.))

I actually want to start blogging again after finals.

Nope, I still haven't finished my first sem.

I just want to write this.

For the past week, I felt weirdly nostalgic.

Since I started college, I don't have time for doing the things I love.

I don't have time to read and I don't even feeling like reading. I'm in a HUGE reading slump.

I don't feel like drawing cause it takes time and I don't have any.

I don't even watch any tv shows or movies, If I watched them, believe me when I say that I only watched half of it cause my hostel's Internet is shit.

Heck, I don't have time to even write my story in Wattpad.

All I did after going home from class, my thoughts are, "I need sleep."

And sleep I did.

After my midterm for my 4 subjects (I have 5 subjects this semester),

I suddenly remembered that I haven't watch Vixx's One Fine Day.

And one night I was like, "Hey, why not watch it now?"

And I watched it. And I felt really, really empty.

I don't know about you guys, I'm a fangirl since I entered teen hood.

I've been a fangirl since I was 13.

And, watching one of my favourite boy groups, I felt a pang of sadness on my heart.

Yes, firstly, I missed them.

And then, I realised how unhappy I was.

___________

My first month of college, I cried a lot.

(I don't want to write about my college life because I want to keep this topic after finals.)

I realised how in my high school years, I spent on my obsession over books, music, movies, and I was... at least happy for the things I did.

Like everyone, my high school years, sucked.

But, the things I love I did, it made the sad years a little okay.

I don't want to be sad again.

I know I complain about college a lot (especially in whatsapp), but I don't want you guys to think that I'm ungrateful...I just really missed talking to the people I know and staying in new place, studying in new school and not knowing anyone, is really damn hard.

Now, I'm nothing but a tired atom.

At some point of my life, these three boy bands were my source of happiness. They were the one who made my life better in high school years and they are still here, to give me strength everyday through their music and personalities.

I missed this feeling. I missed it so, so much.

I missed being happy through these little things.

Ever since watching Vixx's One Fine Day, I laughed a lot.

And I realised I grew up.

I'm not ready to be an adult. (Honestly, I just want to be a fangirling teenager for the longest time as I want).

Grew up sucks but, realising that make me feel stronger, somehow.

And, no, I will never forget those people, those fictional characters that make me have strength to face my everyday life. I'm honestly, feeling such gratitude for them.

Because if it wasn't for these people, my former and now source of happiness (and Allah), I'm not what I am today.